Mariokart WiiU Guesses

So everyone's doing the whole "my opinion of the next Mariokart is..." crap, so I might as well do the same.  And unlike the rest of the folks who say they've played every Mariokart and are 'a pro', I actually have played every console Mariokart... and I'm just a veteran.  And with the exception of Super Mariokart (which is on virtual console), I have physical copies of all of them AND THEY ALL STILL WORK! So this is a veteran's choices for Mariokart on the Wii U.

The Meat & Potatoes

Mariokart7, and it's cuts to graphic limits, uses the Mariokart Wii gaming engine, only it runs smoother, so I won't knock that.  And screw it being MKU, I have a choice name for it; Mariokart: Streets of Rage. Now Double Dash!! is my favorite, and in such a manner, I'm bringing back the two-seater karts, simply because Mariokart is always about the 'run and gun' track play for pole.  SoR gives that feel back as you turn, power slide and mini-turbo through the competition.  True to the style, two players can run their own teams, or co-op.

Controls will be straightforward: If you're gonna use a Wiimote, you will need the Wii controller; Wii U game pad; Wii U Pro controller.  My wheel for Mariokart Wii hasn't left the box and I know that I'm not the only one what doesn't drive with that dumbass wheel.  Granted, I tried it when I played at Best Buy, which is stupid, and using the chuck is inventive, but poorly concepted.  No matter how you slice it, this is a controller game... and speaking of the controls:

Wii Controller
D pad - driver's view/back view (yeah, let's keep that.)
left joystick - drive
right joystick - switch
A button - gas
B button - brake/reverse
X & Y buttons - fire weapons
Z buttons - switch
R button - slide
L button - rear view

Wii U Pro Controller
D pad - driver's view/back view
left joystick - drive
up on right joystick - gas
down on right joystick - brake/reverse
A button - gas
B button - brake/reverse
X & Y buttons - fire weapons
Z buttons - switch
R button - slide
L button - rear view

Wii U controls
D pad - driver's view/back view
left joystick - drive
up on right joystick - gas
down on right joystick - brake/reverse
A button - gas
B button - brake/reverse
X & Y buttons - fire weapons
Z buttons - switch
R button - slide
L button - rear view
Touch Screen - track view/map view (showing rankings)

There will be two forms of downloadable content:  Online is one, the other will be explained later.  As for your runs through cups, two things change here: 1) You will still race for first place, as usual.  But taking a page from my favorite Disney kart racing game, a perfect score will get you a Platinum trophy.  And you want your platinum trophies for the other change; 2) I'm bringing back the "Tour Cups".  Racing the regular 16 tracks in one shot was great, getting first on all 16 courses was boss, and getting a Platinum pair for the All Tour and Retro Tour will be nothing but glory.

The Mushroom and Shell Cups will be open from the start, and an overall 1st opens the next cups in succession, just like in MK7, and four golds open the Tour cup.  And in Double Dash!! fashion, you will unlock cast and cars as you go.

The Corn & Green Beans

Now I'll explain that DLC.  The title screen has the basic options and one of them is the 'Mariokart Museum'.  The main function is to show your game records, stats, and the trophy case.  But the sweet spot is a function called the 'Glory Wheels Scan'.  When you choose this scan, SoR will take you to a prompt screen and explain how it's looking for previous Mariokart game data.  Since the Wii U uses Wii tech, where the console can connect wirelessly to pocket consoles, like Pokémon Battle Frontier connects with the DS, The Wii U will do the same thing.  Simply insert your SD card, grab your DS(i/XL) and 3DS, place them in range of the Wii U, pop in those previous Mariokart titles, power up, and hit the "download play"  option.  Now start the scan.  The GWS will not only search the pocket console, but also the inserted SD card, and the console itself for any previous Mariokart game data.  This will unlock characters, cars (like the Double Dash!! Parade Car), and even open the All Tour Cup as a reward for keeping to the series.  Your trophy case may find some nice additions to it as well.

The Mariokart Channel will now have a shop.  This is so those online drivers can actually put those VR points to good use&  and buy stuff.  Seriously, why have all of those points if you can't do anything with them?   I have 30,000 VR points in MKWii and I can't do squat with them&   well in SoR, you won't say that until after you've bought everything in the shop.  Buy cars, cast, weapons, it's a shop, and the MK Channel will create extra data to use, just like it does on MK7.

The Roster & Arsenal

Mariokart7 had a shitty roster, and whoever set that up needs a swift kick to their ass with steel-toed boots.  You can play with your Mii early, but the "actual crew" is locked all in the 150cc courses?  Someone should've taken a pay cut for that asshat move.  Double Dash!! had introduced signature cars and weaponry, and that won't change here.  Line-up wise is lacking, but with good reason.  Everyone has their own choices when it comes to characters, so I hope you like at least two of my choices.  And the size class for the questionable:

Key for Housekeeping
↕ = can be thrown both ways
₧  = DLC
▲ = modified

Default Characters
Toad & Toadette in Toad Kart - Golden Mushroom
Koopa Troopa and Paratroopa in Koopa Dasher MKII - Triple Shells ↕
The Mario Bros. in Red Fire MKII - Fireballs ↕
Peach & Daisy in Light Tripper MKII - Heart
Yoshi & Birdo in Superdragon - Egg ↕
Wario & Waluigi in Bruiser - Bob-omb ↕
Donkey & Diddy Kong in DK Jumbo - Giant Banana ↕
Bowser & Bowser Jr. in Koopa King - Bowser Shell ↕
Two Miis in Wii Racer - Wii Attract

Hidden Characters
Shokora (medium) and Rosalina in Grand Star - Crystal/Star Bit Mirror
Noki (small) & Pianta (large) in Island Cruiser - Island Sound
Kat & Ana (both small) in Shinobi - Smokescreen
Ashley & Mona (both medium) in Spellbound - The Allure ₧
Dry Bones & Dry Bowser in Bone Roller - Bone Shell ↕ ₧
Boom Boom & Pom Pom (both large, as they are bulky) in Doom Roller - Shockwave ₧
Lakilester & Lakilulu (both small) in Cloud Runner - Spiny Rain ₧
Dixie & Tiny Kong (both medium) in Barrelgini - Twister

Hidden Cars
Toadette Kart
Para Wing MKII
Green Fire MKII
Light Dancer MKII
Diamond Duster (medium)
The Mystique (large)
Rocket Barrel (medium)
Bombshell Blaster (medium)
Crystal Star (medium)
The Fjord (small)
Kunoichi (small)
Heart Throb (medium) ₧
Banisher (small) ₧
Doom Carrier (large) ₧
Lovely Cloud (small) ₧
Feathercoupe (medium) ₧
Golden Fox (all) ₧
Parade Car (all) ₧

Arms
Green Shell ↕
Red Shell ↕
Banana Peel ↕
Fake Item Box ▲
Star
Thunderbolt
Spiny Shell ▲
Mushroom
Triple Mushroom
Poison Mushroom ₧
Parasol ₧
Bullet Bill ₧
Wrench ↕ ₧
Ohms ₧
Freezie ₧
Boo ₧

The arsenal probably doesn't seem fair, but I tried to balance it out as best as I can.  This bit of arsenal introduces some interesting item types, one of which is "proximity items".  Prox items work with enemies around you; Noki and Pianta's Island Sound creates a sonicboom, which pushes nearby racers away from you.  In a similar manner, Boom Boom and Pom Pom's Shockwave causes their kart to hop.  And upon landing, the resulting shockwave spins nearby racers out.  The Laki's Spiny Rain has them toss seven spiny eggs into the air around their kart, and anyone hit has the same reaction as being hit by a shell.  Also, if the Heart picks a spiny egg up, they will toss three spiny eggs instead.

The second type is items fired only one way.  The Wii Attract uses a magnet in front of the car, and the magnetism pulls your vehicle closer to the one directly in front of you.  Kat and Ana's obvious Smokscreen is fired behind them and will cloud the vision of opposing drivers for a short time.  Freezies are fired behind karts and travel in a straight line, breaking as soon as it touches a wall.  But if it hits another driver, they will be frozen for a short time, and drop their items. Ohms work in a similar manner, but items are kept.  However, the two Ohms fired backward are connected by a bolt of electricity, causing drivers that touch the Ohms, or are caught in the bolt to be temporarily stunned.

The CPU Toad fired the Poison Mushrooms forward in Super Mariokart, but anyone can fire them now.  And those who run one over will shrink and be small for short time.  Ashley and Mona's Allure is fired forward.  Using Mona's charm and Ashley's magic, anyone hit with this has their left and right controls reversed for a short time. Getting a star or boo will clear the effect instantly.

And now, it's time for the other new items.  Keeping the tradition of princess defense weapons, Shokora's Crystal Mirror and Rosalina s Star Bit Mirror has their 'sattelites' surround the car.  But instead of picking up incoming weapons for others to use, the weapons are reflected.  Power weapons like Thunderbolts, Bullet Bills and the Island Sound, Shockwave and Smokescreen can't be reflected; the Bone Shell works in similar manner to Yoshi and Birdo's eggs, except for two things.  1) Bone Shells aren't homing, and once they hit something, they break and their bones scatter all over the place.  Also, the scattered bones have the same effect as being hit by a shell and Hearts will only throw the scattered piece it collects.  And 2) Bone Shells break if someone tries to steal one with a mushroom or star power.

The Kong sisters' twister is based off of the ponytail spinning.  The kart actually spins around for a short time, and in this spin, items, hazards and other racers are knocked away (racers are usually knocked sideways).  Twisters can be hard to control when going around a curve and it s possible to mini-turbo while this is in effect.  Rocky Wrench s wrench is an interesting projectile.  Once it hits another driver, it causes them to spin out, and afterwards, it slows their kart down for four seconds.

Two of the original weapons are modified&  the Fake Item Box is back and it returns with its original luster, and by original luster, I mean that it's the same color as regular item boxes.  The reason as to why they were turned red is because people couldn t tell what an '¿' looked like.  Even my ten year-old nephew know how to spot this thing in Mariokart 64.  Weapons still go through them though...  And most importantly, Spiny Shells also get modified.  Mind you, they still go after 1st and the still blow up when they hit first, but they have two important modifications:  The days of the spiny circling overhead are over.  They stay on the ground, and you will hear them coming before they smack you and send you sailing.  THERE IS NO PAUSE BEFORE IMPACT!  The saving grace of the spiny takes a page from the Super Circuit Spiny, where you actually have a chance to outrun it before it hits you.

The second modification, regardless of what you think is fair.  2½ seconds after the 'blue shell of doom' has been in your hands, it will start to flash, and if it isn't thrown in the next 2½ seconds, it blows up in your hand, giving you the same effect as being hit by a bob-omb.  Now if you steal one from someone, even when it's about to blow up, the 5 second time limit restarts.  The purpose of the self-destructing BSD is to put spiny hoarders on notice, and Mariokart7 drivers have this habit, and they have it bad.  Holding on to this thing only makes other drivers 'Spiny Dance'  and you don't need to hoard the damn thing anyway.  I've seen pussies online get one of these in 7th place, and then get into 3rd place, and they still have the spiny?  Throw the fracking thing already!

Retro Fitting

Now for the record, I don't give two shits about battle mode, so I don't care which BMs they put in it.  MKWii had a proper idea for BM, too bad it was 6 on 6 and not a free-for-all.  As for the tracks, which are all that matter, I'll slice the pie evenly.  Two tracks from five of the games and three from the other two make 16, so let's see just how much you whine about the tracks I chose:

Shell Cup
Cheese Land GBA
Vanilla Lake 2 SNES
Shroom Ridge DS
Wuhu Island Loop 3DS

Banana Cup
Tick-Toc Clock DS
Toad's Turnpike N64 (including the Vehicles coming at you in Mirror Mode)
Grumble Volcano Wii
Ribbon Road GBA

Leaf Cup
Wario Colosseum GCN (2 laps)
Vanilla Lake 1 SNES
Royal Raceway N64
Neo Bowser City 3DS

Lightning Cup
Yoshi Valley N64
Moonview Highway Wii
Mushroom City GCN
Rainbow Road GBA

Dessert

The shitter part of MKWii was that it took away the two player Grand Prix, putting more emphasys on online/Vs play, so this comes back.  Music wise, let's keep the original tracks to the racetracks.  I mean, remixing music works for some, but using the original music adds to the nostalgia.  We can give players the option to change how the sound effects are heard (mono, stereo, surround), tweak the music and voice, and even can turn them off altogether, just like in Double Dash!!  Let's also keep the ending "Thanks 4 Playimg" deal that MK7 has, where the first one shows the default characters and your Miis, then the true ending has all of the characters and your Miis.  The game has a killer intro showing the racing action with some characters.  Online racing should have racers choose their course, but they can't choose the same course a second time.  This shit happens a lot online with MK7, no one wants to play Maku Wuhu Mountain Loop four times in a row, PICK A DIFFERENT COURSE!  And lastly, the true ending shows the character teams and as they pass by, we find out which VAs voice our crew, although most of us gamers already have an idea on who does which character's voice(s).

That my feel to Mariokart: Streets of Rage, but give your critiques on the matter.